So, thanks, I suppose, are in due for the many indulgences of the few readers.

I now make some mean margaritas. I believe them to be mean in both the bad-ass sense and the cruel to yourself sense. I am approaching a fully stocked bar. It is amazing what one can do when they truly settle in a place. Makes a place home, even! Still, some significant things needed to be added; their absence is conspicuous. We shall see, going forward, how that issue resolves itself. Not gonna lie, I am pretty lazy. Couch may not happen for a loooong while. Promotion monies will be tasty.

I may.. have desired to be horticultural. I claim socialization, Stockholm Syndrome, whatever! Its.. just what my family did on Saturdays. I.. might want to do that too. Help!

I miss my beard. I am starting to lose my taste for beer. That might be the saddest thing ever written. My taste for whiskey remains strong. My taste in women has apparently also remained strong. White Collar is really coming on as a show. I might just have an undue amount of love for it, though. Summertime.

Been an eventful past few weeks, all told. Unlooked for, but not unwelcome. Much like mmm tasty carribean chickens I am about to put into oven. Time to prepare these noms.

Well, one last thought. I mentioned a while back that I tend to only post things up here when I am not at my best. This is very true. When life is going well, I am not often here. Not to say that my posts are sad, mind you, but that there is a context to them being written. Exceptions, of course, exist. The largest set of them is probably ones like this, which.. mainly exist to say, hey, I am not dead. Without further adieu, I am not dead.

This is frustrating. You do not get to know title now.

I was told I am quieter; perhaps the most striking thing so far. I have my watches again! Wearing one just to get used to having one on again. I have made rather less progress on unpacking than I suspected, yet I am content with that. Largest hurdles are unpacking all my civilian clothes (not a terribly high priority), and organizing bookshelves.

The previous might involve me putting the movable shelves on them though. I am also plus one desk, few lamps, tv stand, near finished kitchen, and fairly complete bathroom. I am starting to think this might become a home. This is a good thing.

Work continues much as one might expect it to. I am comforted by this; I also feel restless. I am on a step towards the end goal, but still just a step. I must excel in this too. Keeping a glass desktop clean will be an interesting challenge. I have developed maybe a .65 solution to household routines, with the gap mainly coming in the bedroom area. I should get something more than an air mattress. I will eventually.

I should start getting caught up on my tv watching that I have missed since the break has ended. I.. eh. Not tonight.

Was struck by a thought last night, and am much comforted by it. Life has become a little clearer, less complicated, and more welcome. I will gladly accept that and let it pass. I might have ordered a violin. I wanna fiddle! I realize it will be a horrid sound; it is well I live alone. In case you are wondering about the title, well, it is related to a humorous incident entirely unrelated to me. I just coined the descriptive text.

I have left a lot behind; this has been reinforced recently. Wherever that Rachel is, ma’am, you are win. <3 to you.

A suspected emotion vis a vis me has been confirmed, I think. I was well advised in action this summer.

I keep saying I should write more. I also keep laughing at myself whenever I declare that. Hell, most of the time I just end up tossing years worth of it away. I am struck by the impermanence of youth. It should not be striking, but there it is regardless. Truck is awesome and me. It is nice to gain good friends. Speaking of friends, I am slowly accumulating them here! Well, not so slow, really. As soon as I am more settled, say in probably month or so, I suspect, I would not be surprised to see me getting about and about in this town. Also: Warmachine: Resurgence tourny this Saturday. Scyrah will show up to whip ass, take names, and be effeminate.

I have been at a loss for what to eat recently. This is both good and bad. Good in that it means most of my impulses to food that is perhaps unwise for me to eat with frequency have died down. Woo healthy! Bad in that.. well, what to eat! I sense increase in salads, soups, and sandwiches in my future. This is a good thing! Star Trek Online looks intriguing; not gonna lie.

Everything, as it turns out, is well. This is not unexpected. To the uncomplicated life!

So trip! I departed Georgia with a missing window and GPS. It was pouring rain. I was not pleased. I made it to Illinois in record time.. do not have any idea why. Saw Rachel and Deej, <3s to them! I still must convince someone to visit me in Alaska! Got to chill with Cliff briefly, and had a surprise good time with Bruce and Tim. Everyone loves themselves some margaritas. I then proceeded on my two day sprint across the United States to Idaho. Western Nebraska and Wyoming are still gorgeous. I guess.. well, it is the beginning of a sense of home. Mountain time is superior time.

I really started to feel happy driving around Burley. Very content to be in familiar territory. This speaks to future! Had a wonderful visit with family and friends in Idaho. Then it was time to depart on the scary trip north! I say scary in retrospect. At the time, it was adventure!

First day on up to Abbotsford, BC was just fine. Washington and Oregon were pretty. Consideration for law school in the area has risen! Sad the only one in Idaho is in Moscow. Day two.. well, that was the stressful day, no doubt. Driving through British Columbia to get to Dawson Creek was frustrating, long, and not a pleasant drive. I was exhausted. Day three was not as bad, and once I got past Stone Mountain, it started picking up. 18.5 hours of driving though to get to Whitehorse. Again, exhausted. I slept in the next day, and then proceeded on mostly good roads to Fairbanks!

With the exception of the Alaska Canada Highway right near the boarder with Alaska. The damn road is bumpy for a good 30, 40 km. I was getting air on every third bump it felt like. That and the one stop off in Beaver Creek irritated me. Could not get rid of trash or use restroom there, as owners put signs up against both. Very irritable. I recommend not patronizing them! You know, to everyone who reads this and drives ridiculous drives.

Conclusion: I would not like to do that drive again during the winter. The summer.. well, I would. It was absolutely gorgeous even during the winter.. I can only imagine the summer. NFL playoffs are going horridly for me so far. College postseason was not terribly kind to me either. Only Iowa and Boise State won. Though I should be thankful that my team did win! Woo BSU! I am one proud alumnus. The Dennys in Prince George, BC is one of the most awesome places ever. They serve booze! The Dennys here in Fairbanks is surprisingly good.. and the northernmost one in the world!

I do like my shady diners. I am plus one friend. I apparently have used a bunch of exclamation marks in this post. Bribery does not work. I will refuse to take the money. I am, however, getting paid by the Army in about two weeks. Deliciously large sums with which to rebuild a life up here. I am a filled with trepidation about actually going to a unit. This will disappear as I get settled in and used to everything. Just the unknown, you see. Living in a hotel at the moment. It will take a while to get used to time change. I suspect it will take a while to get used to many things.

Time in Saint Louis was nice, as I got to see a great deal many more friends than I had intended or expected! Though, as ever, I <3 my time with Rachelee. Currently spending time in the Idaho wilderness. I will not lie, as I entered western Nebraska, I started to feel a great deal more at home. This feeling simply grew as I made it into Wyoming and Idaho. Also, my father purchased himself a LED tv. This thing is ridiculous. I am jealous.

Been ridiculously busy in the past month. I am continuing to Alaska after this stop with the family. Yes, I am done with Georgia. Airborne, etc are all completed. I need to find a copy of Never Learn Anything From History for myself. I find myself contented with the casual, if common, drinking going on both in the impromptu marathon and in this house. Definitely makes me feel at home.

My parents adopted two cats.. or I should more properly say that the cats adopted them. Odd, but fun enough. I miss felines. Idaho has a higher proportion of attractive women than I recall. I am ok with this. I am also headed to where females are a mythical species, so this shall be interesting. A feline was just attacking me because I was typing and not paying attention to him. I do love cats.

Not sure exactly how I am going to settle into Alaska. I know I will like it, but after that its kind of up in the air. A return to computer gaming and the requisite purchase of a new desktop, maybe miniature gaming again, or perhaps even so busy that I will not have time to do anything at home other than just crash. We shall see.

Had some Flying Pie, which is still excellent, and had some good beers, which were less than I recalled. Not due to their deliciousness, with is still present, but mainly in that I drink very few beers anymore, and well, as good as beer is, it is neither whiskey nor wine. Funny how life goes too, I had finally found a bar and a bartender right when I had to leave. Well, thank you anyway, Miss Tiffany.

Really looking forward to living by myself again. The quiet, the cleanliness, the overall sense of peace.. it is desired. I am a curmudgeon I guess! Only one lawn away from yelling at kids.

Well, done for now! I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

Reading has still continued. This pleases me immensely. Personal considerations here in Columbus are tenuous, at best. I look forward to leaving them behind. Still somewhat annoyed anything of that nature popped up anyway.

That is about it, honestly. Not much else going on.

That sounds psychopathic. Mania is infectious. I am not yet of them. Languorous days infect the mind also. Tasks keep it strong, hale, and probing. I am diseased in this; a curative change awaits, on the horizon. I shall not rush it. It cures more than one ailment.. wherein the side effects of a thing are positive, and a stronger ally than the intended effects. Keep on keepin’ on. I suppose this might sound sad. It is not.

“Here is a land full of power and glory; beauty that words cannot recall. Oh her power shall rest on the strength” of her freedom, and her glory shall rest on us all.”

Somber is not sadness. I am passingly close to rereading the elegies though. I just did reread Dune. Apart from the philosophical implications to which I warm as I age, there is a profound sense of what is greater. There is so much greater than my person. It is not an undervaluation of the self. I also now, I believe, have finally developed an irrevocable sense of self. Not complete, but irreversible. I suppose that is what is meant by maturity. I am thankful that my character includes the most profound appreciation of whimsy, of the illogical, and of the unknown. The quote is known.

I am a burden to many of my friends, I suspect. One chiefly amoung them. I will admit what I have been avoiding as a traits in myself. Decisiveness. Judgment. Intuition. All part of who I am, and yet things I have avoided for fear of them. They are quite acceptable in children; hard to accept in a man. Valued, to be sure, but it sets one apart. So what the hell, I set myself apart anyway. Perhaps I can get back to feeling like I am living, as opposed to merely slinking through life. Slinking is the appropriate term. It conveys a sense of shame, a sense of the quiet passing, a hidden necessity, and a certain distastefulness. Except for slinkies, which are awesome.

I just had a sip of tea. The first sip, you see. Warming, welcoming, and comforting. I was not aware I was in the mood for comforting – simply thirsty you see. I am amused that I could not maintain naturally a complexity of language. This is different.

I had a decent Syrah last night. It was cool, pepper, a hint of tannin, and the warmth of plum. I shall find myself missing beer less as I get used to not having it. Today has the potential of being the beginning day of quiet music for the remainder of the year. It is quiet today. It is not quiet enough. I seek a silence of three parts, to reference. Therein might lie an affection for The Name of the Wind beyond Auri and language. I sense myself in the position of Kvothe in the inn. I have no underlying sadness for it though. The story is yet unrevealed.

Last week’s ill days have passed. Instead I face an altogether different set of challenges. Yes, they are related to the opening of this post. I have grown quite comfortable in solitude. There are too many people here. This year’s season of House has done me a good turn. I may have said that I was prepared to be snarky after watching House. That was a lie. House, thankfully, matched me by not being so. It has been a most enjoyable season so far.

Typing all this here makes it seem so much more than it all really is. I must emphasize that these are but minor occurrences and thoughts in the expanse of my day and time. I seem to be devoid of great things. If not devoid, then searching. That I might be lost could be said, but it is not the rudderlessness of life, but the hollowness of the mind; it is altogether more serious. I fill the void with all the things I love. Science, philosophy, politics, history, literature, food.. yet there is emptiness there. For it is in consumption, not in creation, and truly those who cannot point to something created are lost.

30 Rock resumes this week! I am ecstatic. Tina Fey is my future wife. Alec Baldwin is my future wife. ..Yes, I went there. Toss him in a dress and call him Alecia. It will be enough.

Storm the moon. It must be done.

Why have I been cast in the role of the wise, sage, and old one for a thirty five year old? It just seems silly. As Kenny says, you drink scotch to relax, and irish to punish yourself. I feel in need of punishment. Between My Way and Humphrey Bogart I am in real danger of returning to form. Lifelines? Talk about socialization via media. Makes me feel sad for those following me. Well, it is well after three. Time to open up shop, I guess.

Probably going through what has been my longest recurring daydream/actual dream in at least the past several years. Odd, but intriguing nonetheless.

I really love my legal pads and pens. Something about the written word is alluring, and especially when its my writing. Most of you should know the absolute love affair I have with my handwriting. I think one, perhaps two people actually had that affair too. Scandalous! I kind of miss my beard for the sheer reason that I could have it. Its not the lack of choice that is bugging me precisely, but the jealousy of a friend being able to grow one with impunity.

Brianna (the Younger, neighbor’s youngest) has definitely shown me what having a daughter would be like. I am now in full agreement that having a daughter is God’s revenge on you for being a man. Thirteen from House is still hot as hell. Brianna is an infuriating mix of intelligence, sarcasm, adorable/cute/whatever, and and sheer determination. Qualities, all, that I find attractive in women. Thankfully she is thirteen, and that I see her as a daughter. That was an unintended parallel. I had not originally intended to talk about this subject.

I am extremely happy that I can be somewhat self aware. I have done a great deal of rereading of my poor, undernourished blog. General conclusions: I really do miss Gretchen. Puneet was best relationship because she actually could stand up to me. I am fairly overwhelming to most people.. not in any particular fashion, just a bit too much to handle. I am fairly sure I have a mild case of mania. When I say stand up to me, I more meant keep up with me. This is something I have only recently become aware of.

I just ignored an obvious.. terribly obvious.. thinly veiled, actually, invitation to participate in horizontal movement. Something to be said for morals, conscience, guilt, or any combination thereof.

Perhaps, though, the largest conclusion I can draw from my rereading of the posts is that I miss one thing emphatically – a place where I can unashamedly peruse my thoughts and to, by the nature of public publishing, solicit comments from friends, family, and crazy internet people. The first would be new, the second underused, and the third often hilarious. I know why I made a resolution to stop putting up such posts. I also know now that I was wrong. I should do so.

For four years old, this marks my longest stretch of continuously inhabited internet space. I hope to extend that streak. I am quite content here. I just wish I had records of a more historic nature.. the Xanga 1/2, and, more importantly, 2/2. I do, thankfully, have what writing I have actually done squirreled away on a portable hard drive.

Writing for Gretchen was a treat. Writing for myself.. well, let us say that in the reconsidering, it is stronger than I could have possibly hoped for. Writing for others.. well, not so much of it done. I have no muse. Narcissism at its finest I suppose. I like salad. I really like thousand island and vidalia onion vinaigrette. Not together, of course. Exes are fairly transparent when they talk to you again out of nowhere. This is regardless of the information I already possess which likely governs her actions.

This is also (part) of why I do not talk to Gretchen again directly. Other reasons abound, but chief amoung them is an inability to talk to her again. I really do miss her friendship more than anything. Actually I really miss the ability to talk about what I think and feel with someone. No one now fills that void. Joshua should repatriate. I have, surprising, made some damn decent friends while in the Army. Well, I guess not terribly surprising. In the end, I am rather social. Lord knows, at the very least, I can talk forever. Gift from my mother and grandfather.

I will compromise on the martini matter – it is now bourbon time. Just a small one, and a night cap at that, but important nonetheless. I had a silly feud with myself and another friend, which was entirely self contained. Needless to say, it was a silly week of silence. I guess I am just somewhat put out that I am always the first person to talk to people, and few talk to me first. It is both natural by now and somewhat disheartening. I should just accept it, but never quite have. I guess I like being lazy .

It can hardly be an interlude when autumn has barely begun. I guess a more accurate title would either be The Day That Never Comes or Sad But True. Both Metallica, and both excellent. I miss chilling with Sean. You would be forgiven if you assume that was meant to be my brother. I do miss him also, but he is in no way linked to Metallica.

Ra Ra Riot is playing tomorrow night up in Atlanta. I might just spend the cash and go. I really should.

I dropped James off at Ranger, stopped by the store for some hamburger stuff, came back, prepared patties and tossed in fridge, then it began. Cleaning, delicious, delicious cleaning. Football yesterday was excellent, and today promises to be just as enjoyable. Even made progress on eating better, though it has admittedly just been two days. If I can make it a week, life will start looking up. Even tentatively starting upper body workouts again, and I am quite sure my ribs will allow some small strength training. The week and a half off of doing anything physical sure has helped though.

So suddenly recalled the existence of Anders Loves Maria the other day. I cannot believe I had managed to forget it. Though it did lead me into an intriguing thought pattern – Sven vs Anders. I am not entirely sure which one I prefer. I guess Sven, because he shows more self awareness than Anders, but yeah. What is more important is that both of them are not me. Just.. I could have gone that route, and yeah, definitely happy that I did not. There was more to this thought originally; I still heart the artwork though!

Josh and I were talking a few days ago about females and us, and a startlingly funny conversation came up. Kinda helps me explain why I like the females I do. He was commenting on how that he likes intelligent, uneducated females, and that he likes having someone who is pretty much dependent upon him, and dedicated thoroughly to him. Granted that is a simplification of what he said, but the idea strikes true. He was telling me I needed to get a woman like that. I commented I had tried it once or twice, and every time I got horridly bored.

I retaliated with the concept that I like females who are my equal, and challenge me. He said that keeps your interest for a while, but ultimately it gets tiring. Not sure about the latter, but it definitely keeps my interest, and not just for a while. My history of relationships proves that one. I like the challenge. Leads me to the comment which helps sum up a lot of what I am attracted to.. “You sure have a mean Irish temper, but I love it.” Maybe its the John Wayne watching. Socialization is fascinating, especially as you can watch it apply to yourself. All those John Wayne movies as a kid with strong females definitely has influenced me.

Granted, I am not entirely sure where the desire for intelligent women comes from! (Joke, Mom!) Still daydreaming of a woman wearing a blouse, sweater, glasses, medium long hair, ribbon around neck, nice jeans, and dressy shoes >>.

Painted first miniature again in a long while. Went quickly during the SC-UGA game last night, and turned out pretty well. Struck with a desire to play, but at the same time, quite content to paint I guess. Just single models though, I quickly lose patience when painting units. Need to do laundry. Soon enough will light the grill, and get ready to toss on the burgers. Should be a good night!